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What's Up with Love Languages?

Have you ever felt a disconnect in a relationship - romantic or otherwise - where you know a person loves you but you don't FEEL it? This miscommunication in the way two people express love can lead to one or both feeling unappreciated, under valued or unloved, which none of us want to feel! Love languages is a concept created by seasoned marriage counselor, Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages. He saw this disconnect and realized that in many cases it can be due to different ways of communicating love!

So, for example, you have a couple where one partner's love language is Acts of Service and the other's is Words of Affirmation. The Acts of Service person shows their love by doing things they know are imporant for their partner but doesn't typically vocalize their love with words. The Words of Affirmation person doesn't see the acts their partner is doing as love, they only see that they are not voicing their love and thus are left to feel unloved.

This is why it is so important to know a persons love language - whether a romantic partner, parent, child or friend so that the people you love can know AND feel it! It is also important to know your own love language so that you can voice it to the people in your life. SO let's figure out your love language! Is it...

  1. Words of Affirmation

This language expresses love through words - whether compliments or statements of love. Since words are so imporant to this person, negative or insulting comments may hurt them more than those with other love languages.

2. Acts of Service

This is your "actions speak louder than words" person. For them doing things, big or small, like making their favorite meal after a long day's work, is how they recieve love.

3. Receiving Gifts

Meaningful and thoughtful gifts are what make this person feel all the love. This doesn't necessarily mean that someone is materialistic, for them stopping to pick up their favorite ice cream on the way home is what they find meaningful.

4. Quality Time

The Quality Time love language is about dedicating time to your partner free of other distractions. They want one - on - one time and for the other person to be truly present as well.

5. Physical Touch

Someone with this love language feels connected and safe through holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. They want to physically feel close to their partner, so the absence of touch can make them feel unloved.

Do you have an idea of what your love language is?! If your're still unsure, take the test at!

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